Middle Of A Memory.

You left me in the middle of a memory.
A heart filled, tear stained memory.
As my tires hit the 20 minuet long road from your house to mine.
I knew.
I knew it was over.
The relationship, memories, and everything yet to come.

It was all left behind me.
There you were: on your couch.
Blank stare on your face.
Three words are all your lips formed: "I don't know."
A couple pictures and my heart filled words ripped to shreads.
They found a new home in a black bag.
That's where I would be found too.

A black bag, a black room, a black hole.
Soon it started becoming brighter again; and then all of a sudden it was blinding.
Your number scrolled across my screen, like it never left.
You came back.
I believe all of your apologizes.
I'm trying so damn hard to understand.
We've both changed over the past three and half months.
I'm glad you're getting better.
I am too, I know you're happy for me.
But damn.
Damn did I miss you.
Damn am I confused.
Damn do I want it all back.
I never stopped loving you.
I never stopped wanting you.
And you told me the same.

Now you tell me you need me, and need my help.
You say you do and don't want a new and reformed relationship.
I just want to be here for you.
Even if it is just as a friend.

I wish.
I wish I could just be your drug.
Your rock.
I wish we could start over.
Continue on, though.
I wish my head would stop spinning.
Tears would quit knotting in the back of my throat.
I wish I could figure this out.
Figure us.
Figure me.
I wish we could just be done.
Skip the trial.

But I vow to you.
I vow to you that I will be here every step of them way.
No matter how much your words hurt.
No matter how bad I want you.
No matter how much I cry.
No matter how long it takes.
I will wait. I will be here.
I never stopped loving you.
I just can't seem to get that through your head.
I love you.

I love you, S.
Forever and for always.
But for now.
But for now.

A god damn memory I don't want is all you are.
A stupid little memory in the back of your mind is all I am.
As we figure this out.
You figure it out.

You left me in the middle of a memory.
A heart filled, tear stained memory.