thunderstorms starting, lightning striking.

Thunderstorms started, lightning struck. 

My voice, broken. 

My voice, swelling with tears. 

My voice, gone. 

My cheeks were stained with rivers of salty water. 

My eyes cloudy with blackened tears. 

My body shaking. 

My heart aching. 

Everything in a million pieces. 

Nights became long, and lonely. 

Too lonely to be exact. 

Things got dark. 

Darker than when my eyes were closed. 

My body became weak, and my headed pounded with thoughts of your blue eyes looking at someone else's. 

The only silver lining I had was the silver blade between my fingertips. 

The sharp edges. 

The overwhelming desire to be numb filled me. 

The pain felt great, almost like I was with you again. 

Skin became red, and covered for days. 

When someone's fingertips brushed against my skin, and pain shocked throughout my body-almost like it was on fire. 

Then I realized something. 

You were the silver lining that brought so much pain. 

You were the silver lining that was actually covered in dirt. 

You weren't anything I needed. 

I needed something more. 

I needed myself. 

I needed nights in a full face of makeup. 

I needed nights with music blaring. 

I needed nights with friends. 

I needed nights with laughter and cheeks that hurt. 

I needed night with my own clothes-without your approval. 

I started life over, a found my old self and I'm happy again. 

I started wanting to be myself again. 

I started to wear a real smile, and my happiness. 

I started to realize it all again. 

I realized life isn't about fake love, and half smiles. 

I realized I didn't need a boy. I need a man. 

I realized I need love. 

I realized I need true and not fake. 

I need laughs, and real sleep. 

I needed a lot and I'm slowly gettin there. 

New friends, and everything else. I have it. 

It almost seems like my life is together. 

Honey, never settle for a man who isn't going to want to brush his teeth with you or stops dead in his tracks when he sees you without make up on. 

Who watches in amazement when you're doing your makeup and getting dressed in that all black uniform for work. 

Someone who is proud to call you his. 

Because everyday shouldn't start with 

Thunderstorms starting, and lightning striking.