Something Valuable

I learned something valuable yesterday.
Yesterday while I was on the phone with the boy who I want to believe I am madly in love with.
I learned something, that kind of hit me in the heart.
I have to quit.
Quit living life like a burden.
Quit thinking the worst on myself.
Quit thinking I am a pain to everyone.
Just quit.
I have to live life.

Live life.

I have to enjoy every day.
Every single damn day.
I have to embrace the rain.
The sun.
The wet grass.
Or maybe when I slip and fall on a couple wet leaves.
I just have to embrace everything.

Embrace it.

I can’t think that every day is something meant to be normal.
Normal isn’t what I do.
It hasn’t been since the beginning.
Most days are an adventure.
The rest of those days?
The rest of those days are the breaks home between road trip, hikes, and exploring.

I have to be me.

I have to be that girl.
The girl who everyone notices.
But in a good way.
The girl from next door.
The girl from the corner of the library.
Because no matter how many people I believe hate me, twice as many want to be like me.
I realized that to some people, I am the one they want to live like.
The girl who is carefree.
The girl who has her head stuck in the clouds.
The girl who loves.
The girl who laughs and cries.
The girl who doesn’t do anything out of spite.

The girl who is free.

You cant live life like a clock.
Doing the same thing every day.
Going around in circles, perfectly.
Because, honey.
Honey time is a silly thing.
Its there to keep us on track, but not to live our lives for us.
Time is a secret shadow.
Time is a wonder element.
Time is a dream.
You are in charge.
You control time.
Time lasts forever.
You don’t.
Live life like the clock is broken.
Like the numbers are jumbled.
Like the hands go every direction.
Like midnight doesn’t exists.

I am.

The sun sets and rises for you.
For you, my dear.
The moon and stars are bright.
They shine for you.
Yes, you my dear.

You have to attack every day.
Attack it with energy.
With a carefree attitude.
Don’t let what happened in the past happen today.

I learned that no matter how mean she is.
How much he said he loved you.
Or how the way you guys laughed together.
That is what you have to live off of.
Analyze evry situation, and throw away the worst.
Hang those good moments on the wall.

Find you.

Find the Christina Yang.
Audrey Hepburn.
Meredith Stephens.
Taylor Swift.
Marvin Gaye.
The next door neightbor.
Find them in you
Embrace it.
Live it.
Slay the day.

You have to quit living life in the mud.
Pick up the mud.
Throw it.
Start a mud fight with the one you love.
Kiss in the end.
Wake up the next day, and remember.
Remember there is no such thing as midnight.
Take the long home.
Find a lookout.
Kiss the sand.
Yell at the top of your lungs.
Chinese fire drill in the middle of the day.
Pay for someone’s coffee.
Because when you realize.
Realize life is simple.
You make the rules.

I learned something valuable yesterday.