But Damn, am I glad it is.

I never thought it would be this.
But damn, am I glad it is.
This precious.
This perfect.
This bright.
This.

I never thought I would feel this way.
I never thought it could be this way.
I never thought I wouldn't understand.
I don't understand.

Maybe I am not good at what I am doing.
Not good at holding your hand.
Not good at standing by you.
Not good at giving a love that is clear to see.
Not good at giving you what you need.

But.
But I can promise you something.
Something that I will put everything into this.
That no matter what, I am going to love you at the end of everyday.
That every kiss has more meaning than last.
That you are the reason I continue.
That you are what I have searched for.
That I wake up everyday with your name on my lips.
That every moment you catch me looking at you is because I found something more to fall into love with.

The way your blue eyes shine.
Your jaw line forms perfectly down your neck.
Your hands hold me.
Your soft lips feel against my old cracked ones.
Your words are tender.
Your actions are soft.
You.

You.

I want to wake up next to you every morning.
I want to run my small hands through your hair.
I want to lay my lips on yours.
To think about the good times to come.
To think about the good times that have passed.
To let go of my bad past.
To wonder what it would be like in the future.
To take a look at all the precious moments we created.
To solve our problems.

I can't help but love the way you hate it when I kiss your neck.
How you wont let go of me when we lay next to each other.
And your laugh.
I can't help but love the way you smile every time I walk into the room.
Or the way you kiss me in the middle of my sentences.
And your slender build.
I can't help but want to kiss you when you say something sweet,
Or when we sit in silence.
To remember every moment.

Then again there are some things you have to remember.
You have to remember that I need affection.
My mentality, to my discovering, functions off of the feeling.
Feeling of being wanted, and touched.
You have to remember when I have attack and say something.
I didn't mean it.
It was something inside me.
A monster I don't know how to control-something that creates a buzz I can't clear away.
You have to remember that the things I hear.
Things I hear mean more then the average person.
Its my crazy mind I am trying not to lose control of.
You have to remember that I get scared.
I get scared you're going to stop.
You're going to realize you can't tame the monster inside of me-even though you want to.
You have to remember that I am head over heels for you.
I've never felt this way about someone.
You're the first-and right now I want this feeling to last.

You.
You are the one I want to tame the monster inside of me.
The one I want to understand my fucked up life.
The one who promises to try.
The one I don't want to stop.
The one I want head over heels for me.
You.

You're the beat I have stuck in my head.
The rain drops on my window.
The words stuck on my tongue.
The questions in my head.

You're the smile on the edge of my lips.
The gleam in my eye.
The late nights,
The laughs.
The missing piece.
The piece I finally found.

It's you boy.

I never thought it would be this.
But damn, I glad it is.

you && rain.

My thoughts are consumed with you.
The 100th floor of an apartment building.
Seattle, Washington.
The rain pouring.
Slowly reaching down the windows.
Your hands in my hair.
You kiss me slowly.
Time moves fast around us.
It's been a year and a half now.

The late nights of watching you play video games.
Your dog curled up next to the bed.
The late nights of watching movies.
The late nights of kisses.
The late nights of cuddling.
The late nights of talking.
The late nights of crying and wiping tears away.
The late nights of my skin against yours.

The way you always walk me to my car after class.
The way you hold my hand and swing our arms.
The way you kiss me after I climb into your car.
The way you pick me up and rest me against a wall.
The way you watch movies with such intention.

I think about things.
I think about our future.
I think about the way you care.
I think about what we both want to do.
I think about how I wouldn't care if we were stuck.
Stuck in a little apartment.
With drafty windows and lopsided floors.
A drippy sink, and 4 flights of stairs.
I think about no matter what, I would be happy with you.

You put my words at a stop and a smile on my face.
You make me feel wanted.
You make me feel loved.
You make me feel important.

The thought of you consumes my mind.
The thought of your hands.
The thought of your blue eyes.
The thought of your soft skin, and sandy blonde hair.
The thought of your big heart, passions and dreams.
The thought of all the times you slowly grab my hand while we are driving.
The thought of all the times I would slowly move away from you in, and you'd pull me in.

A lot of things consume my mind.
But I am happy that it is you.
I am safe around you.
I can cry and be myself.
I can have an attack.
I can love and sleep.
I can scream and eat.
I can be me.
I've never had someone I can do this around.
I've never had someone and now I have you.

You calm me when I am upset.
You care when I am scared.
You feel when I cannot.
You pull me in, instead of pushing me away.

When your lips touch my hardened heart, it slowly begins to open.
When you're around.

My thoughts are consumed with you.
The 100th floor of an apartment building.
Seattle, Washington.
The rain pouring.